തേങ്ങാക്കൊല

ഇന്നലെ വൈകിട്ട് ഞാന്‍ പച്ചക്ക്കറി അരിഞ്ഞുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കേ , മൂന്നരവയസ്സുള്ള പുത്രന്‍ എന്റെ അടുത്ത് വന്ന് എന്നെ ചൊറിഞ്ഞുകൊണ്ടിരുന്നു, എപ്പിഴും അവന്‍ “ യേ ക്യാ ഹേ? “ എന്ന് ചോദിച്ചുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കും, ഓരോ ബാജിയുടെയും പേര് ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു, പിന്നെയും അവന് “ യേ ക്യാ ഹേ? “ എന്ന് ചോദിച്ചുകൊണ്ടേയിരിക്കും...കുറെ കഴിഞ്ഞ് ഉള്ളി അരിഞ്ഞ് കണ്ണില്‍ വെള്ളം വന്നപ്പോള്‍ , അപ്പോഴും അവന് ഇതേ ചോദ്യം...ഉടന്‍ ഞാന്‍ “ ഇത് തേങ്ങാക്കൊല” എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു, അപ്പോ അവന്‍ അത് വേണം, “ പിന്നെ എന്റെ പുറകെ “ തെങ്ങാകൊല ക്യാ ഹേ” എന്നായി, ഓരോ പച്ചക്കറി കാണിച്ചപ്പോഴും അവന്‍ അതിന്റ പേരു പറയും, പൊട്ടറ്റോ, റ്റൊമാറ്റോ, കാന്ത( ഉള്ളി) , ഇപ്പൊ അവന് തേങ്ങാക്കൊല കിട്ടിയേ തീരൂ...ഇന്നലെ മുതല്‍ അതിന്റെ പിറകേ നടക്കയാ, അതിനു ഇന്ന് ഞാന്‍ ഗൂഗിലില്‍ നിന്ന് ഒരു തേങ്ങാക്കൊലയുടെ പടം കാണിച്ചു. അപ്പോ അവനു അത് കിട്ടിയേ തീരൂ...ഇനി ഞാന്‍ എന്തു ചെയ്യും????

Waiting for the student…

In my Mumbai lifespan, I have connected too many people from the different ways of life. As a friend, colleague, student, neighbor, co- traveller like many. But still I could not forget one guy, 16 year old master Simab Raza. He was completed his SSC and joined for computer diploma in my institute. He was a regular student and was so eager to learn computers. He was very calm, decent, svelte and sincere. He had a special affection to me. Even I had a soft touch with him.

One day when I came back to my room after work, the room owner told me to vacate instantly. I was stunned. Because I have no idea that, where will I move next? From my relatives, no one was ready to help me on that time. Next day when I reach my institute, I was very upset and gloomy. I couldn’t concentrate on teaching too. Simab asked me the reason of my headache. So I shared with this news. He told me to shift the room to his place, where he can arrange a temporary room for me. Soon when our class got over, he came with me to my place and packed my suitcase and bags. Heavy bags filled with my books he put it in the Rickshaw. Around 5 pm we reached his place at north Mumbai , the village called Nallasoppara from Sakinaka where I was  put up. After keeping my luggage in his friends place , he took me to his house. I met his Umma ( Mother) , and his younger sister. She gave me tea and told to take some rest as we both were tired after reaching there. I was surprised to see their concern about me; an unknown person also from another cast, not even from Mumbai. Just they know that I am her son’s teacher. Anyway I had no other option on that situation, to live…(?).

I attuned with my other room partners who are from the North, Kashmir. In that one room flat, we four of them stayed. One South Indian and three North Indian in middle of India!  (Maharashtra!). Every day Simab visited my room and also told other roommates to take care of my things and help me. Later may be after a month, I got a new accommodation with one of my friend. In fact I was looking for a new place because; this Nallasoppara was too far from Mumbai and took me around 1 hour in train to reach my institute. Hectic travelling! So I actuated from there to my friends place. After three months, Simab completed his short term course and left institute. There was no mobile that time, so I couldn’t contact him later. Years passed, but still I remember his innocuous face all the time. He was a God that time for me. Because I was very new to Mumbai and I did not had much contacts or relation. After 13 to 14 years, now I am looking for my dear student Simab, if I can find him anywhere, I will be very much grateful to him. Really I want to meet him. I hope, once I will meet him, and I am waiting for that precious moment.

Shadow of gloom

When I recall my childhood, I always feel that, I had missed my childhood sweet retentions, and beautiful life of a child. It was very pathetic in my life as it went on with limited happiness, sharing, wants and desires. I always think of ‘first deserve then desire’. It was very true in my life too. I didn’t crave anything in my life. My poor parents struggled a lot to bring their progenies. Being the youngest in their chain I got little concession and affections from my beloved parents. So only I found a way to come out of it, to ran away from home after school life. As every child I too fantasized a lavish, free life in my future. I hope to fly like a dove. Fortunately I got a chance to visit Bombay after my secondary education. When I landed in the economic city of our country, I never thought that, I will become the part of ‘ Aamchi Mumbai’. People of the Big City welcomed me in their fold; I too became the part of the speedy life in Mumbai. The people, language, culture and custom, food and fantasies all influenced so much in my life. Slowly I merged with the city life. I love to be here in my future. Each and every place attracted me a lot. So I planned to set my rest of the life in Mumbai. I got all support from my relatives, friends, and colleagues and last not least, the blessings from almighty God. I always wish my lofty soul to be dedicated to the service of God. The church and the people of our community helped me to nurture in the spiritual activities and my personal growth through the service of church. 

I was a person of rigorous discipline in life.  That too is learned from my seminary life. I always like to be alone and liked a lonely life. I kept a distance for any relation with my friends and relatives. Many of them came across in my life for a short span of time. I treated everyone with courtesy and kind heart. But I learned an important lesson that, ‘do not trust anyone with your wholehearted’. I inspired by writings of Kamala Das ( Madhavikutty- well known Malayalam poet and writer) , that, to speak from your heart, but still I am scared of open my heart in public. As a writer she became famous and her aptitude of writings known to the people, and they accepted. She lived without fear in public. But for me, I am little reserved and not open to people. I don’t find any one so far I can share with, other than God, so most of the time I like to be alone. That’s the reason may be I like darkness, than the light. But I enjoyed each and every moment in my life. Lot of friends from various directions poked me on my sad days, on line networking sites given me a couple of good relations but the virtual bodies sometimes turn to a dark spot in my life too. So I couldn’t fix any one in my heart. I enjoyed my professional life very much. Teaching and interacting with kids have given me a cherished mind in all time. That’s the reason why I couldn’t grow in corporate life of Mumbai. I witnessed lot of ups and downs in people around me. That all taught me few lessons also. But I have my own philosophy, own decision and own stand in anything related to my personal. I don’t allow anyone to infringe in my personal matter. This also lead to some of the unpleasant circumstances with some of my relatives and family people in past. But I know what I did and what I am going to do. Many of them are interested in your matter, but their own glitches they ignore. They don’t see the pole on their eyes but they find the dust in other’s eyes. One thing I realized, if you want to win in your life, you have to be sincere and candid to yourself. If you try, you can fly in high. Trust in God, because HE is the one who know about you and your past, present and future. I hope, being a shadow of God, he might smudge the shadow of gloom from me.